


Waiting

by aberrantartificer



Series: Trusting strangers in the dark [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Implied Kidnapping, M/M, Stockholm Syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-24 10:06:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2577608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aberrantartificer/pseuds/aberrantartificer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You shouldn't be doing this. You should be trying your damn hardest to get out not wait around for the thing that kept you hostage and sucked out your blood. Sure Sollux pretended that he cared about you and your feelings but you knew it was just a ruse. He wanted you to be at ease around him, to let down your guard. Sollux acted gentle and kind like a lover when he was cruel and heartless like a monster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who left kudos and commented on Enticing! It really motivated me to finish this and work on other things related to this au. This is set from Eridan's point of view, some time after Enticing. Hope you enjoy! Thanksx2

You rested you head on the windowsill, idly watching the stars twinkle. Out here in where ever the fuck you are they were so much brighter. But you weren't waiting for any shooting star to pass by; you were waiting on Sollux. He went away whoever knows where without a word and allowed you to roam the house as you pleased(of course all the doors and windows to the outside were locked tight), but you have found yourself guarding the front entrance or sitting at the massive upstairs living room window. You couldn't eat half the time because it didn't feel right without him there with you or feeding you. When you tried to sleep, your thoughts revolved back to Sollux; where he was, when he was coming back, if he was okay, what he was doing and it won't stop and the next thing you know oh hey look the sun is rising.

You shouldn't be doing this. You should be trying your damn hardest to get out not wait around for the thing that kept you hostage and sucked out your blood. Sure Sollux pretended that he cared about you and your feelings but you knew it was just a ruse. He wanted you to be at ease around him, to let down your guard. Sollux acted gentle and kind like a lover when he was cruel and heartless like a monster. He wanted you to fall in love with him; you think it might all be working.

You catch a bat flitting across the sky and your heart stops for a second(from relief or fear was the question) but when you see, or rather you could tell, it's the normal black bat and the not the golden bat Sollux was you let the breath you were holding out(again from anguish or relief you don't know).

You leave the windowsill and sit in front of the unlit fire place. You didn't know where Sollux kept any of the materials to light a fire so you couldn't light one yourself but it was better than anxiously waiting and watching the night sky. You try to banish any thought of him but that over evolved leach continued to breach into your thoughts. When you were first captured, the thoughts and nightmares you had that included him were full of fangs and blood and pain. The thoughts you had now of Sollux, though, were sickly sweet ones. His velvety voice when he spoke to you, how his touch even though cold (literally) had slowly began to be a source of comfort to you. You craved his attention, you wanted him to tease you like he always does, you need his presence or you would die. Is this what withdrawal felt like? You hate Sollux so fucking much but you needed him all the same. It makes you sick to the stomach and scared because you have to be some level of fucked up in the head to feel anything but hatred and maybe fear for your captor. You stared angrily at the ash in the fire place. Your lips quivered and no. No you were not going to cry. Not anymore. Not for anything that undead bastard has done to you.

You got up off the wooded floor and started to walk aimlessly around the grandiose mansion. Some of the doors to rooms in the house were locked, which you found dumb (of all fucking things).

Twice you end up at the entrance, each time taking you a few minutes to realize what you were doing and to curse loudly.

You stop in the kitchen, hoping to fix yourself something or at least eat whatever is there because your stomach felt rather empty, but every time you look at food your throat closed and your appetite vanished. You ended up just getting a glass of water and even that you barely sipped from.

Later you found a room that was sparsely furnished, occupied only by a king sized bed with a simple bedspread and two nightstands with a lamp each. You collapsed onto the bed; as soon as you did you were hit by a wave of exhaustion. You wanted so badly to fall asleep, but the thought of Sollux being gone or coming back any second kept you from blissful darkness. You tried to get yourself into a comfortable position but no matter what you felt heavy and fidgety. You drag yourself off, groaning with frustration. God fucking damn Sollux Captor to hell. No wait, he crawled out of those depths. There would probably be a homecoming party for him.

You wandered the halls some more and climbed up the stairs to the third floor. It was only one hallway that the third floor was comprised of. You check all the doors and by the twenty-second and final door, you were beyond irritated that all of them were locked. You try turning the knob of that door, but it stopped midway. Nope you were done with this bull shit. You ram the door with your shoulder with enough force to make the whole frame shake. "Come on ya motherfuckin' door," you hissed. You took a couple steps back. "Open!" You yell as you kicked in the door. It swung open from the impact it and you stumbled forward almost falling. You straighten back up, temples pulsing painfully from blood rush. Looking around the room, you find it absolutely devoid of any furniture except for a metal, spiraling stair case into the ceiling. Since when did this house have a fourth floor? You tested the stairs and made you way up.

As soon as your head was poking out of floor, you glanced around the dark room to see exactly where you have ended up. It was a bedroom, obviously having been lived in not too long ago. The covers on the bed were left unmade (your inner neat freak was crying), and it didn't seem like a lot of dust had accumulated around the room. You ascend higher into the bed room and squinted in the darkness. There was a black mass in the shape of a dresser as well as desk with a laptop and some knick knacks littered around. You turn, then felt the wall for a light switch. Upon passing over it, you flip the lights on.

This room, unlike the other rooms which were either filled with lavish furniture or none at all, had a clean cut feel to it. The walls where a soft yellow with wooden banister, and the bed spread (from what you could see under the white sheets) was a darker yellow with black stripes accenting it. You make your way to the mahogany dresser and swung open its doors to reveal its contents. Inside were button up shirts (all of which black or darker colors) neatly pressed and on a hanger and an assortment of vans lined the bottom. You grab one of the shirts and then you realized these were Sollux's shirts. You rip the one you grabbed off its hanger and brought it to your nose. It had to be his clothes; it smelt so much like him. Your heart ached and you almost let out a sob. You didn't think you missed him at all, or this strongly. You stand there drinking his scent and flooded with conflicting emotions. You were angry at Sollux; not for all the horrible shit he has done but for deserting you. For leaving you without warning. You wanted him to come back and put his hands all over you like he always does and tease and taste and touch you. You were angrier at yourself for allowing such feelings to take over your sanity. You don't want any of that but you do. You were on the verge of tears once more from the frustration of it all.

Then you felt grimy in your clothing.

You focus on that instead of the slew of emotions and sneer with disgust. When was the last time you took a shower? Days and nights meant nothing in here, but you know it's been too long (Sollux normally sits you down in a tub and thankfully lets you clean yourself in privacy). You should take one now. You turn on your heel to walk back down the stairs and then grimaced at the thought of having to put the same clothes on afterward. You looked down at the shirt you still held in your hands and you bit your bottom lip. Half of your brain was gushing over wearing his clothes like a school girl, how good they smelt and how they reminded you of Sollux. The other half was torn between saying "fuck Sollux he can deal with missing a shirt, pants, and underwear" and "fuck Sollux I won't give him that satisfaction". You feel your face heat up when started thinking along the lines of the first half. You quickly ascended the couple of steps to fetch the rest of the clothes you would need.

You let warm water cascade down your back. You found shampoo to scrub into your greasy hair and you left the foam in so the scent could ingrain into your scalp. Staring at your feet you try to think about your life before Sollux got a hold of it. You worked the graveyard shift at a shitty hotel from 3 to 8 in the morning. You were a regular at the library of the town. You had evening classes every day except Tuesday. Would people notice you were gone? Maybe, and they wouldn't care. You didn't have any friends, your professors would assume you dropped out, the old librarian would probably forget about you.

You realize all you have is Sollux.

The revelation has your eyes burning. You convince yourself it's the suds dripping into your eyes.

After you rinsed out the shampoo and scrubbed your body, you draw the curtains back, half expecting the vampire to waiting with his back turned for "privacy". Wrapping a soft towel around your hips, you stop in front of the mirror. You had bags under your eyes, fading bruises along your neck and you overall felt ugly. What did Sollux see in you? You were mess, even after an infinitely long shower. You sneer at yourself and turn away, continuing to dry yourself. Before you would have stood there looking at yourself for at least an hour, complimenting your reflection. You were a narcissist, you will admit that, but now you can't even look at yourself without feeling like garbage, especially when Sollux talked so highly of you. It must be another tactic of his.

Hours pass by and you find yourself back at the windowsill. Now you watch as the sun rises, painting the sky with soft pastels on an ink canvas. Your hair tickled your ears and strands of platinum fell in front of your eyes. The fresh clothes actually made you feel a hell of a lot better, but emptiness still ate your insides. You want him. You want Sollux back. You actually want to feel him, make sure he is real and whole, and to make him tell how he feels about you. Was he using his vampire voodoo to make you feel this way? That makes sense. It's your last hope assuring you haven't broken-down.

Something displaces the atmosphere of the room. Your heart jumps to your throat when you hear footsteps. You continue to look out at the horizon and swallow hard, turning with hesitation. He couldn't be here. You didn't hear the door. He was gone for so many day and now he was suddenly back? 

Sollux is standing behind you with a blank expression. His irises are red but he otherwise looked human, just for you. “Nice outfit,” he says, referring to his clothes you were wearing.

Tears pricked the corners of your eyes but you kept your composure. "Where were you?"

Sollux blinked slowly. "I thought you felt tortured enough."

"So you fuckin' left me?" You didn't expect you would raise your voice. The vampire remained unaffected.

"No, I came back."

That fucking asshole thought you were tortured with him being gone? Your fists clench at your side. Sollux knew what he was doing, being gone like that. He wanted to see how you coped. You so utterly failed and fell for his trap. A switch flipped and now you were furious. "Yer makin' me feel this way arn't you?"

Sollux shrugged. "I can’t make you do anything you don't want to."

"Bullshit! I know you fuckin' creep into my mind and make me do all kinds ah shit!"

This time he shakes his head. "I just simply suggest you to do something. Plant it into your head until you do it. That’s different from just making you do something."

"How 'bout the times you make me talk or some shit like that?" you spit.

"Maybe you already want to do that."

You stare at him, seething. Did you want to talk to him and just cede over control? You would never do that. "You- you make me want to!"

He smirks. "Maybe."

"So yer making me love you!" you blurt, shaking.

Sollux expression drops and he raises an eyebrow. "Love me? I can't create feelings, Eridan."

You choke on a sob. He has to be lying. That blood sucker just admitted to making you do things. You, you can't actually love him.

You stand there trembling with anger and just a bit of fear. You _did_ loved this monster. You loved Sollux despite all times he bit you and drank your blood, despite the weeks of emotional turmoil he put you through. The threats, the lewd comments, the teasing, everything horrible he has done to you did not stop the sympathy and need you had for the immortal being. You wanted to leave and be as close to Sollux as possible. You wanted him to stay gone and you never wanted him to leave. You fought with every emotion and you finally give up. Tears ran down your face and you only fought pathetically when Sollux wrapped you in an embraced. You gripped his collar so hard it might have ripped and sobbed silently.  
\-----  
You wake up leaning heavily on Sollux. He looks like he was sleeping, with his head tilted back on the couch and breaths deep and even, but past experience tells you he’s feigning it. Your eyes felt puffier than usual but the rest of your body felt great. You haven’t had a solid sleep in a while.

You sit up, careful of not waking up Sollux even though he _wasn’t even fucking asleep god dammit_. You appetite has returned and your stomach growls painfully. It’s the only part of you that feels empty now.  


On the coffee table sits a dish with a sandwich (a ham-tomato-lettuce-sunny side up egg-sandwich to be exact. He’s spoiling you) which you scarf down, and a small book titled Strange Phenomena in the Study of Psychology appearing bound by real leather and yellow pages, worn with time. There’s a book marked page that you open up to and your blood runs cold. You read the passage.  


_Stockholm syndrome_  
 _In my studies of psychology, Stockholm syndrome is one of the most problematic syndromes I have encountered, as well as one of the most enigmatic. It occurs in victims of hostage or traumatic situations involving a captor or domineering party. This “captor-bonding”, as called by some, is the empathetic, sympathetic, or, in extreme cases, romantic connection formed psychologically by the victim._

You don’t read any further down the page. It wasn’t any vampiric magic or some twisted aspect of your mind. There is a valid reason for your love for Sollux. It leaves you feeling more confused than ever, but it was an explanation of sorts. You set down the book and your sandwich sits like cement in your stomach. Looking over at Sollux (who was still pretending. Or maybe he actually wasn’t) you start to think he wanted you to know. He wasn’t the one doing this, not directly. You swallow hard and breathe for the first time (when did you start holding your breath?). You love Sollux, and it doesn’t matter how or why, the fact is that you do. You don’t and won’t fight it any longer. 

But you need to get out. You will fight for your freedom no matter what it costs. One day you'll escape when he has dropped his guard, when his love blinds him as much as it has you.

Until then, you pull up your legs onto the couch and curl against Sollux’s side. His chill scared you once, now you seek its comfort.

**Author's Note:**

> Constructive criticism and comments appreciated!


End file.
